Thought process: Engineering vs Liberal Arts

I've been mentally exhausted the whole day after such a long night. Even if you make up the lost hours of sleep, physically you might recover, but the mental drain of being awake for almost 24 hours straight operating at full concentration is very evident.

I had three assignments due today, two were technical problem sets, and the other was a management essay about the impact of cultural differences on your leadership style/your team. Working through assignments that required such different approaches simultaneously wasn't the most pleasant experience, and I think the differences in approach were really amplified due to the high-stress levels.

Since most of my classes this semester (and in fact all of last semester) are technical math/logic related classes, it's become part of my nature to analyze problems from an engineering perspective, where you disengage your emotions from the problem, and dissect it from a purely technical standpoint. It is a succinct, cold, logical process, almost mechanical after practice, where you understand the problem, understand the desired final end product, and slowly apply logic to build step upon step.

And then I started working on the essay at about 3am, and initially applied the same perspective -- understanding the prompt, understanding the end product, almost disengaging my emotions and applying logic, and then I realized I was hitting mental blocks, and words and ideas were not flowing. It was overly elaborate, unnatural, and uncomfortable. For my reference was no longer concrete and tangible, like other problem sets with solutions, or textbooks with formulas; it was now my own emotions and observations, hidden behind multiple layers. And the unearthing of the richness and depth of the human soul requires reflection and self-evaluation, all of which I had not given time for amidst the horrendous busyness of the weak, and certainly not something that could be rushed at 3am with another uncompleted assignment due at 9am.

And so I come out of this experience different, knowing that in such future writing assignments, a paradigm shift is crucial. And I come out too a lot more desperate for God, because after such trying moments of fatigue and frustration, you experience emptiness, and become reminded once again that even the fulfillment emanating from a task well done does not come close to filling the void.

Almost all-nighter

7.05am:

I pulled a pseudo-all-nighter. I'm still going to sleep a bit before class, so it's not a full one.

6 assignments this week, not fun at all.

Penn Social Entrepreneurship Mentoring: www.pennsem.org

www.pennsem.org
Moving ahead, progressing well. Things are starting to get exciting :)

A muffled New Year

Chinese New Year here is not much of anything, it is a muffled celebration limited to red packets and lanterns stuck by my dorm's administration in the lobby, and a yearly Malaysian/Singaporean dinner. But to be very honest I never placed much cultural significance on it, it was just a time with family and the extended family -- so I guess that makes me a family person, but not in any sense a traditional/cultural person.

The weekend was extremely busy though, and I didn't feel very well a good part of today, so from a productivity perspective I accomplished close to nothing. And I regret to say that it's only the beginning of the third week of school yet I feel rather overwhelmed by the workload ahead of me, both for this week (almost all my professors assigned problem sets due on the same two days, for goodness' sake), and for the whole semester, if I extrapolate the amount of work I have now to the whole of the semester.

Oh God I really need You.

In the bitter cold

It's been absolutely freezing the last few days, temperature is perpetually from -5 to -20 celsius. I used to think the cold was a novelty and something I'd thoroughly enjoy, so I'd wish I'd live in Alaska or something dumb like that, but after the last few days I'd like to take that back.

I walk outside with a tortured look on my face, and everyone around me hunches in, wrapping their jacket tighter around themselves. I take more inefficient routes by walking through buildings, so I get temporary relief from the cold; sometimes I run. When I come back, I take off my scarf, gloves, outer jacket, inner sweater, and I rub my ears and legs to get feeling back into them. The main topic that dominates everyone's conversation is the bitter cold.

That's why I'm so thankful for a cozy room, a heater, and my blue comforter. And hot milo.

New York Times 44 Places to Go in 2009 - VOTE FOR PENANG

The New York Times is compiling a list of the 44 places to go in 2009, and WE'RE IN IT wooot

I think we're 22nd spot now based on the NYTimes' recommendations, and number 2 based on readers' recommendations :)

Bring the kiasu spirit out and let's hit number 1. Haha. You can only vote once though, so tell other people to vote too lol.

GO RECOMMEND PENANG NOW

Sorry I've been MIA

Hello!

Sorry I haven't written anything since I got back.

Have been sick + jet-lagged, a horrid combination indeed, and when I'm tired during the day I can't tell if it's because my body needs rest to combat the flu, or if it's because my body-clock is messed up, so I don't know if I should sleep. So recovery hasn't been too smooth :/

But the last two nights I've slept for around 12 hours, so I'm slowly getting some of my bounce back haha.

On a completely unrelated note, I re-watched the Beautiful Mind over summer, and have been inspired to write on my windows like John Nash did, especially since I have huge glass windows. Did some googling, and found out the type of pen he used is something called a "metallic dry erase" pen, so that's on my list when I head to the stationery shop later.

I shall probably post pictures of nerdy writing on my window once classes start and I've actual problem sets to attempt, and not the lame stuff like "testing", or "awesome, this pen works" that is somehow natural to me when I acquire a new pen.

Last afternoon

Yea. Sigh.

It's been an awesome break though, love ya'll :) It seems the pain of leaving is as real each time, but the longer I've been in the US,  the stronger the joy/excitement of being back on campus and meeting up with uni friends again, so I guess it evens things out a little more. 

Another semester of intensity ahead. His grace is sufficient, so bring it on.

Will miss you all dearly.